you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
