with your own penis?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
