it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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