i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
