Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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