did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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