I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish I could teleport
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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