Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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