and she was petting her beer can
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
