you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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