We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You made out with two different species that night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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