i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just found a bag of teeth...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize