I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
