Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
