craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
