her vagine was all disorganized.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
