i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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