so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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