How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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