Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
