Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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