Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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