I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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