I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
