Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize