i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
