So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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