even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
