Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
