you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
