I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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