we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
