Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize