Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
