Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
