My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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