Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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