I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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