I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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