I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
