It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
