I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
