Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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