Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
