yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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