Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
