I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
