some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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