ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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