Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My cat gives me a boner
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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