You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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