have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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