at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Panties = found
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
