Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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