He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
