I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
