this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
