You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
