Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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