Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
