If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
