I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
