We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
