If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
